I met my husband about five years ago. I was 25 at the time. At this point I had just bought two dogs because I figured I’d be single for the rest of my life. And dogs fix everything. Anyway, he was walking out of church in his Guy Harvey shirt, looking all cute and rocking a country accent (swoon!). It was a quick conversation where we introduced ourselves and went our own way. Shortly after that, he asked me to join him for coffee. And y’all, that was it. A few hours into the conversation and I could barely listen because I kept thinking: I’m going to marry this guy. It’s no Hallmark movie, but to me, it felt like one.
Here’s how it all went down. I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to bring me a godly man. I desired so deeply to be a wife and a mom. After years of praying this and no answer, I decided to switch things up. I stopped praying for that. I started praying for God to lead me in the direction He wants me to go, single or not. I stopped worrying about dating. I stopped searching. I think I needed to get to that point of contentment, and I’m so glad I let God take the reigns and direct my steps.
It turns out my husband was in a similar place in life. He was over the dating scene, but desired so badly to get married and start a family. He also had a “come to Jesus” moment and stopped letting his life revolve around finding someone to marry.
At this point in my life, I was working night shift as a registered nurse. So sleep during the day was very precious to me. I was living in a condo, and my neighbor was blasting her music. She was an older woman that was heavily involved in her church, so I was caught off guard. When I knocked on her door to see if she could turn it down, I realized she was jamming out to worship music. JAMMING. Of course she felt awful but we laughed about it and I headed back. A few seconds later she knocked on the door. She told me she really feels like I should come to her church; she said there was someone she thought I should meet. I was already attending another church, but told her I would try to make it on a Wednesday night. I was very hesitant, because I had just gotten to a good place. No more heartbreak was granted. BUT, I decided to go because y’all, this woman is a praying woman. She hears from the Lord often. I had to do what she suggested.
After that coffee date (which by the way lasted 4 hours), I just knew I was going to marry him. After going through the hurt of so many relationships not working out, I was very hesitant to let my mind go there. So I guarded my heart and prayed my way through it. I kept telling myself to think with my head, not with my heart.
The following day, I looked up into one of the lights in my condo and see a bat. A BAT PEOPLE. I called my brother, my knight in shining armor at the time and asked him to come get it. His response: “Didn’t you just meet with that guy last night? See if he can come get it.” Thanks brother. So I reluctantly texted Kevin, and asked if he had a net. He came right over and saved the day. Again, not a Hallmark movie – but pretty close.
To sum it up – we both knew that this is why God had us waiting. Nothing else worked out because it wasn’t supposed to work out. Two months after our first date, Kevin proposed. Five months after that we got married. Seven months total from our first date to wedding day. Being that we were a little older, we didn’t get a lot of backlash. My dad had quite a few questions… but that was to be expected. We knew God was in it, and we didn’t want to wait. Our theory was, if we know we are going to get married, what are we waiting for?
We gave ourselves time to go through pre-marital counseling (praise the Lord for that). We read marriage books and made ourselves talk about the hard things. We prepared as best as we could and committed to keep Christ at the center of our relationship.
Everyone’s experience is different. For us, there was no reason to wait. We had both committed to save ourselves for marriage, and I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t part of it. This was a big part of it. We wanted to stay pure and waiting any longer would’ve been very, very difficult. Heck, it still was difficult!
We have been married for a little over four years, and I would do it the same way all over again. We didn’t know every little detail about each other, and we’re still learning those things. But we’re learning them together. We’re there for each other every step of the way. I am so glad we didn’t wait until all the kinks were worked out to get married. We run into new kinks every day, but there is something beautiful about that. We are on this journey together, learning and loving each other along the way.
Thanks for listening to our story, I would love to hear yours! Did you get married quick or take your time? And why?
Photography by Heidi Mitchell Photography