About a year and a half ago, my husband came home from work and had this disappointed look on his face as he was looking down at our youngest daughter. He said, “When did that happen?” I looked down and realized she was sitting up. She had been doing this for about a week and I really thought he knew that. But he didn’t. He had just worked four night shifts in a row and had no idea what was happening at home. We communicated as best as we could, but he was sleeping when I was awake and it made communication very difficult. I watched my husband’s heart break in that moment as he realized he missed yet another milestone in our daughter’s life. A baby sitting up may seem like such a small thing. But it made me go from being so grateful for his financially safe and stable job, to wishing we could figure something else out so we could have him home more. I wanted him to be included in these moments, not just tell him about them.
It brings me to tears to think about that moment, because his heart was so broken. He was working these long hours for us, losing sleep for us, and missing moments for us. While I appreciated him for his perseverance in taking care of us, I knew something had to change. I didn’t want this for our family. He was working long hours that switched back and forth from day shift to night shift. He was doing all of this to support us, so that I could stay home and be happy with our girls. I just wasn’t ok with him being unhappy so that we could be happy. That’s when we started looking for something else.
We were able to find him a job that he could do from home. It would be a major change for our family. But through prayer and wise counsel, we decided to take the leap. We are thankful for the people that were put in our path to open those doors for us. We couldn’t have done it without the community we are in.
This job change happened 5 months ago, and we are still in the transition period. It has been challenging, stressful and tiring at times. But by far, the most rewarding decision we have ever made. My husband has gotten so much closer to our girls, because now he has the time to spend with them. I feel so much less overwhelmed because he is there. He may be out in the office working the majority of the day, but he is there. My girls know he’s there. My three year will often ask if she can “go show Daddy” something she made. We try not to interrupt too much, but what a joy it is to tell her, “Yes, he’s in the office. Let’s go show him.” We don’t have to catch each other up on what the kids are doing because he is now doing life alongside us.
We found out we were pregnant the day after my husband put his two weeks notice in. While that added some stress to the situation, we knew that God was leading us down this path and we knew He would take care of us. After two completely healthy and normal pregnancies, the unthinkable happened, and we had a miscarriage (you can read more about that here). It was the hardest thing we have ever been through, and he was there for all of it. Every appointment, every complication that followed, my husband was right there. His job change couldn’t have happened at a better time. We didn’t have to worry about calling in or trying to get off work, then being penalized for it. He was there without question. And I can’t imagine going through that without him.
While he is in the building phase of his business, I am working more than I normally would. I am more than happy to do it, because it is a means to better end. The goal is more family time. We want to have more experiences together. We want less stuff so we can make room for the things that matter. Instead of getting a new car, we got rid of one. Instead of getting a bigger house, we are downsizing. That picture I had growing up, the one about the big house and white picket fence… I have no desire for that anymore. I just want my family. Big house or small house. We want time together. We want experiences. We want to serve together and make kingdom differences in the lives of others. We want to give of ourselves and our time freely. Our biggest goal this year is to be financially free. Completely out of debt. We are working hard to get rid of all of it. We started working on this when we got married, and I cannot wait to finally be done. I can’t wait to see the doors that will open once we are debt free.
We are planning to sell our home and travel in an RV for at least a year. Now before you write me off as crazy because I have two toddlers, hear me out 🙂 This is something my husband and I have always talked about but never thought it could be a reality. As we are working on getting both of our businesses to be completely mobile, it’s becoming a reality! Once our businesses are able to sustain us completely online, we are getting ourselves on the road!
I want to hear about your dreams. What would you do if you weren’t held down by debt? What are your dreams that seem so far out of reach? What if you decided to go for it? What would that look like?
Love + Donuts,