How to Pray for your Husband

How to Pray for Your Husband

Our husbands need our prayers! This week I challenge you to focus on one prayer a day. There is so much power in our prayers. Our spouse is the most important person in our lives, and they deserve a few prayerful minutes of our day. Let’s dive into how to pray for you husband!

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Day 1: Pray for peace in his heart. You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3. Our husbands tend to feel a lot of weight on their shoulders. They want to provide financially, emotionally, spiritually and they want to lead our families well. Sometimes this can cause a lack of peace, and more of worry. Something we can pray is for our husband to have peace, even in trying times. Pray that they are so grounded in God’s word that when the stresses fall on them, they know that they are not alone in handling them. Pray for peace and comfort in his heart. 

Day 2. Pray for his confidence and self-esteem. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29. We need to be his number one fan. Being an encourager goes so far when it comes to men. They need to know that we are for them, and we believe in them. They could receive all the encouragement in the world from other people, but what matters most is how we encourage them. Instead of focusing on what he’s struggling with, remind him of what he is doing well. Pray that he feels encouraged and confident in his abilities and who he is in Christ.

Day 3. Pray for his relationship with God. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6. Pray that your husband is submitting to the Lord. Ask that he is not relying on his own understanding, but turning to God for help when he needs it most. Pray that your husband’s relationship with God is growing and thriving. Pray that he is seeking the Lord and longing for him so that he can lead your family well. 

Day 4. Pray that he would have a heart for his children. Children are a heritage from the Lordoffspring a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3. Oh those babies, how we love them! Pray that your husband would have a heart for them as well. Pray that he’ll go the extra mile to make them feel special. Pray that he is filled with joy throughout the playful moments and even through the tough ones. Kids have a funny way of showing us love, pray that they will tenderly show Daddy how much they really love him.

Day 5. Pray for your husband to succeed in his work. Put God in charge of your work, then what you’ve planned will take place.” Proverbs 16:3. Pray that he will succeed, not just financially, but pray for your husband to feel as if he is fulfilling is purpose. Or figuring out what his purpose is. Pray that he feels respected and encouraged in his work environment. Pray that God would place a hedge of protection around him so that no physical, emotional or spiritual harm will come to him. Our husbands often base their worth off of how well they are performing at their job. Pray for him to succeed according to his own goals. Help him reach them, help him turn his dreams into a reality.

Day 6. Pray that you can show your husband unconditional respect. “Nevertheless, each husband is to love and protect his own wife as if she were his very heart, and each wife is to respect her own husband.” Ephesians 5:33. If you choose only one prayer for your husband, let it be this one. Our husbands need to be respected more than anything else. Pray that you can respect him with your words. Our words are so powerful, let them build your husband up instead of tear him down. Respect him in the way you speak of him. Speak highly of him. I have another post on why this is so important, you can read it here. Our husbands need to feel respected just as much as we need to feel loved. Pray that you can respect him even when he hasn’t earned it. Respect him like you want to be loved.

Day 7: Pray for your husband to love you unconditionally. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25. Pray for your husband to lean on God’s word and love you unconditionally, even when you don’t deserve it. Talk through the issues that arise in your marriage. Pray together. Seek help when needed. Reach out to your spouse to see what he needs or how you can help him. All of these things will help you love and respect each other more.

Here are some resources that I highly recommend:

Thanks for being here, let me know if there’s anything we can add to the list of how we can pray for our husbands!

An Open Letter to my Husband From Your Stay-At-Home-Wife

To my husband,

Thank you for giving the kids a bath, even when you feel like you have nothing left to give at the end of the day.

When we are wrangling kids and trying to get out the house and you say, “What can I do to help?” Thank you for that.

I am constantly needed throughout the day. When you come home and see that the house is a hot mess – instead of saying, “What did you do all day?” You start picking things up and putting things away. That is what I need. That is what our family needs. Thank you.

I can’t tell you how much it means when you say, “Go take a break, I’ve got the kids.” It is very difficult for me to say “I need a break” when I know you’ve had a long day too. Words cannot express how much I need you to say it.

Thank you for loving me, even at my worst. I try so hard, so stinkin’ hard to do this mom and wife thing well. When I fail, I appreciate you being there as a helping hand, rather than being disappointed in me.

The kids are dying to spend time with you. Thank you for prioritizing time with each one of them. And thank you for treating them like the gifts that they are, rather than a bother.

Thank you for listening when the kids tell you about their day, even if you have no idea what they are saying. Thank you for being excited with them.

Please know that I don’t need much, I just need to know that you appreciate me too. Thank you for letting me know that I am doing a good job. It keeps me going.

Thank you for doing the dishes. When I hear that you’re doing them and I didn’t even have to ask you to do them, I get those same butterflies you gave me when we first met.

Thank you for not letting your job stop when you are done working. And thank you for understanding that just because I’m not away at a job everyday, I am working very hard.

Thank you for showing our kids that I am first, and they are second.

Thank you for leading us in prayer throughout the day. And thank you for showing our kids what it means for you to love me like Christ loves the church. You are setting the standard for their future spouses.

Thank you for loving me so well, day in and day out.

Thank you for supporting my dreams.

Thank you for hearing me, really hearing me when I need it most.

Nothing makes me happier than watching you play with our kids. Thank you for being a horsey, helicopter and every Disney character under the sun to put a smile on their face.

Thank you for being an honest man. A hardworking man. And a godly man.

Thank you for going along with my crazy ideas – like going camping for two nights with two toddlers. It’s going to be fun, I just know it.

Thank you for making me feel beautiful, when we both know I’m on day three of dry shampoo and sweatpants are my jam.


I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

– Your stay at home wife

Pictures c/o Lindsey Cassidy Photography

The Best Marriage Advice We Ever Received

When my husband and I were in premarital counseling, our counselor gave us some advice that definitely helped our marriage get started on the right foot. We were given many resources on starting a healthy marriage, keeping each other first, among other great advice. But one thing that stood out to me the most was this: “Only speak highly of your spouse.” 

I know some of you are cringing, but hear me out. When we first got married I thought, well I’ve got this one in the bag. I would never speak poorly of my husband because he is the most amazing person to ever live and I get to marry him! Right? Totally my train of thought. It’s very easy to say what we will and won’t do in marriage until we’re actually… married.

I found myself at times going to complain about something my husband had done or ask another wife if her husband struggled with something similar. It’s only natural for us to want to voice those things. Now, there’s a difference in saying, “His snoring keeps me up all night,” and “I am so tired of picking up after him.” The snoring is something he can’t control. Picking up after himself is something he can control. I told myself if it is something that he can control, then he should be the one I’m talking to about it. If I ran to my girlfriend and complained about him not picking up after himself, who would that benefit? No one. If our husbands don’t know that what they are doing bothers us, how can they fix it? I quickly realized that they cannot read our minds… unfortunately. We have to communicate… over-communicate.

My husband and I both agreed to make this a priority in our marriage. We have both slipped up at times, but for the most part this rings true. What comes out of our mouth is an overflow of what’s in our heart. My heart is for my husband, my words need to be as well.

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When I feel myself getting frustrated or bothered by something my husband is doing I ask myself a few questions:

  • Does he know this bothers me? 
  • Is it something he can control?
  • Is it something I need to let go? 
  • Is it worth bringing up? 

If he doesn’t know it bothers me, I try to kindly and respectively say something. That way he is aware, and I’m not letting it build up and continue to bother me. If he does already know that it bothers me, I speak up. I like to call them “friendly reminders.” If it’s out of his control, I try to adjust. If it’s something that will continue to bother me if I don’t say anything? Then yes, I will bring it up. If it’s something silly that can easily be let go, I try my best to let it go.

There are things in marriage that I will want to complain about. I try to turn that focus to what my spouse is doing well rather than complain about what bothers me. What a great feeling for your spouse – to know that you are only speaking highly of them. We all have our faults, but our spouse should always have our back and our best interest in mind.

We are not perfect at this by any means, but the more aware I am of how I am speaking about my spouse has saved me many times. I never want to put my spouse in a negative light or put him down to others. We are a team and we are called to build each other up.

I do this in hope that he is doing the same for me. I put myself in my spouse’s shoes. Would I want him complaining about me to others? No. I would rather him come to me with whatever is bothering him so we can tackle it together.

Check out this post to see a list of our top ten favorite marriage books!

Let me know if this is something that you try to do or something you’re working on! I’d love to hear from you. Comment below! 

 

*This is a general overview or how speaking highly of your spouse can be beneficial for your marriage. There are definitely times when something needs to be said. This post is in no way referring to abuse situations.

10 Marriage Books That Transformed Our Marriage

10 Marriage Books That Transformed Our Marriage

My husband and I wouldn’t be where we are today without the wisdom and knowledge of others. Each one of these marriage books has been instrumental in shaping who we are as a married couple. Between premarital counseling and these resources – we have been able to develop a strong foundation that has prepared us for very difficult times in our marriage.

If you have any questions about the books listed below, please let me know and I’d be happy to answer them to the best of my ability. They are in no particular order, but here are 10 books that transformed our marriage!

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1.  Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs – This is the most instrumental tool for learning about the main difference between the needs of men and the needs of women. It is completely Bible based, and thoroughly explains why men need unconditional respect and women need unconditional love. It has helped us meet each other’s deepest needs in our marriage! 

2. The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller – We actually read this book during our premarital counseling and it was really eye-opening. It helped us dig deeper and ask the questions we needed to ask. This book highlights the importance of having a deep friendship with your spouse. It also gives basic instruction on how to have a successful marriage. Great read for sure!

3. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas – The main message of this book is that marriage is more about making you holy, rather than happy. Yes, happiness is a result, but not the ultimate goal. It gives practical tools that you can use to immediately start making improvements in your marriage. It has helped us love God and love others well.

 

4. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman – I’m sure you’ve heard of this one! It’s one of the most popular relationship books out there. It is all about how we give and receive love. It will be a huge eye opener!

5. Wife After God by Jennifer Smith – This is a 30 day devotional focused on bringing you closer to your husband and to God. It definitely did that for me. It helped me take a closer look at how I viewed God and how I viewed and treated my husband. I highly recommend it! Jennifer’s husband also wrote a book called Husband After God , that aims to motivate and challenge men to draw closer to God and to their wife.

              

6. For Women Only and For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn – My husband and I actually read these on a road trip when we were engaged. We were heading to see my family and had a ten hour drive ahead of us – so we decided to make the most of it. We actually read these out loud to each other. I read For Women Only which talks all about what we need to know about the inner lives of men. My mind was blown, I remember I kept asking him, “Really? Is that true? Do you really feel that way in certain situations?” And vice versa, he read For Men Only to me. It was great for our relationship and really helped get us talking about what matters.

                  

7. The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler – This is a great book all around, but we found it was especially focused on the dating/engaged phase. Matt Chandler helps us understand that this thing called love isn’t all about our emotions. We cannot let our emotions rule us, but rather we need to focus on what God’s Word says about love an intimacy.

8. The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples by Stephen and Alex Kendrick – What better way to stay on top of your marriage than a devotional? The Love Dare is meant to challenge you and your spouse to grow deeper to each other and to the Lord. It has 52 weekly dares and a daily time of reading, prayer and action. Such a great practical book!

9. Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott – This is another one we read prior to getting married. But it has also helped us after being married. The principles are focused on things you should ask before, during and after marriage. I suggest getting the workbooks that go along with it as well! This book is perfect for those who are engaged or in the newlywed phase!

10. Couples Devotional Bible, NIV by Zondervan – This one is probably our most used book. We were gifted this at our wedding and I am forever thankful! It is a full Bible, but has devotionals throughout it. I love how each devotion corresponds with scripture. And it’s special for my husband and I to have a Bible that belongs to both of us. The only thing I wish is that we utilized it more. We love it!